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the REAL Angst

Real name: Emily
Q. Can you do tongue twisters?
A. I could probably try twisting yours.
Q. Why the different hair color around the face?
A. Because I dye my bangs. They used to be black. They are now blonde and will soon be green when I graduate.
Q. Why do you frighten me?
A. Because I challenge societal norms... Because I rock the boat... Because I endeavor to not look like the people I'm surrounded by day after bloody day... Because I hate mustard on my sandwiches. Or it just might be the hair.
Q. What made you decide to be the way you are?
A. I hate pastels, Abercrombie&Fitch, or any mall chain store that sells khakis and/or vinyl clothes, fluffy animals, babies, getting drunk at parties and blowing half the football team to be popular and anything else that would qualify a girl with big tits to be a cool teenager.
Q. What do you wear on the weekends?
A. As little as possible.
Q. Is your hair natural?
A. Sort of. I am a very natural red head. I just get bored with it and change some of it now and then.
Q. Have you ever considered being Jewish?
A. Hmmm.... Is that good enough?
Q. What religious affiliation do you belong to?
A. The affiliation where you mind your own bloody business. I don't tell you what to believe and vice versa. Thank you very much. Organization frightens me. It gives the minority power over the majority, often with horrific consequences. I'll keep whatever gods I have in my own way. When you can use your religion to say white people are the supreme race and gay people deserve horrible deaths, it's not about God or spirituality anymore.
Q. What are your thoughts on required religion classes?
A. They're good for you. Get to know the enemy.
Q. How many strange people (friends) are in your life?
A. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. EVERYONE in my life is strange, including the bugger who asked this question.
Q. How do you choose your friends?
A. I don't really choose my friends. We just sort of gravitate towards each other's apathy.
Q. How did you and Medieval meet?
A. Medieval and I first met on a bus on a "religious" retreat. We really got to know each other through art class, where we traded sarcastic remarks about people and things we didn't like. Sarcasm does bring people closer together.
Q. Do you have a man?
A. Yes, I have a man. He's very good at back rubs, doing laundry and cleaning my house... and sex.
Q. How did you get yours, and how can I get my own?
A. I'm a real red head, and I can't really help you there.
Q. Help! What do I do about the person staring back at me from the mirror?!
A. Don't be afraid. The person in the mirror is your friend. He/she'll copy every movement you make. That's it.
Q. I know it's dangerous, but what can you tell me about exercise?
A. Nothing! I'll say nothing though wild horses tear me apart and the remains are dressed in Abercrombie&Fitch.
Q. About your clown shirt... does this mean that some of your relatives are clowns?
A. What the hell kind of question is that?!
Q. What's up with the clowns?
A. They want to eat people when they sleep.
Q. I'm a clown, and I like you... what can I do to win your heart?
A. When I am killed in a local car accident, and they butcher me up to give me away to those who need my organs most, if they put out a raffle for it, buy as many tickets as you can, and you'll have a pretty good chance at winning my heart.
Q. I'm another clown and I want to eat you in your sleep. Where do you live and how can I find your room?
A. Bugger off.

Is there any question (Serious, Stupid, Silly) that you'd like to ask Angst? Send your question here!